Dealing with expectations

It’s nearly two and a half years since I graduated from uni. I don’t have a job. I have no reason to get up in the morning. This added to the constant exhaustion I feel from meds and bad sleep means I spend my life either in bed or on bed. My parents have had enough of me being ‘lazy’ but I’ve had enough of trying to live up to expectations I can’t meet. How do you motivate yourself?

I just feel like I’m always automatically set up for failure. I’m not depressed so I have no excuse for my lack of motivation except habit and fear. I know if I don’t get out of this slump soon it’ll have a detrimental effect not only on my life but my family’s too. Any advice?


I am so sorry to hear about your distress. Believe me, you are not set up for failure. Yes, exhaustion is debilitating and can be so demoralising but you do have reasons to get up in the morning - it is just thinking through and seeking out what is going to make you happy and love life! When I was going through a similar (and horrible) time I found walking to be the best cure. I also found being honest and open with my family was a real help, rather than hiding away the distress I was going through. Life doesn’t half have its rough times but please, there is a positive future, it is just being patient. I’m here if you need to talk it through - please just let me know.


Hi Susanna. I would advise to just try and be as positive as you can. Everything takes time. You’ll find your passion or a hobby that you love and that could maybe motivate you. Try different breathing techniques if you feel anxious at times. Just always remember that you’re trying your best.:blush:


Firstly congratulations on graduating, this is a fantastic achievement and one you should be very proud of.

The employment market is difficult to navigate especially in this current climate. My advice would be to get a professional to look at your CV to see if there are any areas that could highlight your skills more prominently. Keep applying for jobs you are interested in, eventually you will get the right job for you please don’t give up.

Lastly please speak to a member of your family who you feel understands you and is someone you feel you can confide in. Let them know how you are feeling.

You are not lazy, you are a strong woman who is doing her very best. Take care.